When diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma on November 15, 2013; exactly one month and three days after I had married my wonderful David, you would think that I would have been ANGRY at God, cancer, and my overall life but I was not. I looked at cancer as a “gift.” Something meant for others rather than for my own life lessons. I knew God was utilizing me as a vessel to draw more closer to Him and get that relationship with Him that every devout Christian strongly urges. I went through my treatments like being an Avenger character in the comics. I never gave up, I kept persevering, and I knew that I was going to inspire others through my trial. I never complained, I accepted willingly and without a drop of a tear falling from my eye.
I was taught by my role models; who are my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, that we push through barriers to survive, we do not complain we just provide the solution to the issue, and we take care of people who have paved the way for you and teach others to pay it forward to the next. These are my principles in my life and they are a great foundation to build upon, but through my current experience this foundation can become a little unstable. Utilizing my principles, I never saw cancer as a “villain” nor did it bring me anger at the time. I was the bright sunshine face that I have always been and continue to be since God created me. As mastering “The 5 Levels of Leadership,” I had mastered other greats (created other leaders) because of how I was able to control situations, find a solution, and keep smiling to the next challenge. I am here to tell you that those fundamentals that I used to move and politic in Corporate America has a downward spiral affect on a remission cancer survivor who is suffering with another chronic illness.
Now I am ANGRY at cancer. Cancer has caused me to lose memory and I had to learn how to process information differently in order to feel “normal.” Cancer has caused me not to be able to breath at the same capacity because I have a paralyzed diaphragm, which has restricted my air flow. Cancer has caused me to have chronic pain in certain parts of my body where some days I can not get out the bed or go downstairs in my home. Cancer has caused me to feel guilt that I am still here and others are not. I AM ANGRY! I am wanting and striving to be everyone’s hero and role model because that is how God made me to be, no changing that DNA but someone can be my hero and I will lower my walls of vulnerability to receive. Being in remission is a blessing and a curse.
One thing I know and is very clear, God keeps His promises. (Hebrews 6) I have asked God for guidance and signs so I know I am on the right path for His works and He has sent them to me clear as day. My daddy told me and explained that I can ask God whatever I wanted especially now in my new venture. Through my pain, happy/sad moments, doubt, comfort, and love I will FOREVER BLESS and THANK GOD for every trial and tribulation He continues to see me through.
I am becoming more transparent, because that is the true form of leadership and being honest with yourself brings you to a whole new level in life. I hope my story continues to inspire and teach because that is my vision and purpose. With much love CDS-YOUNG
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!