Throughout my journey there were many times I would feel discouraged about living with a chronic illness (PCOS). Then right on time I’d meet someone with an incredible testimony of healing and/or natural conception. I truly believe these people were put on my path for a reason. I would often think of them on my bad days.
You see, I work with pregnant women and babies all day. There would be days I’d be in my feelings about not being able to get pregnant. On top of that I was physically worn down, and sick most days. To make things worse many of my clients would ask me if I had children or if I wanted children, which made me feel sad . However, over time my clients became my source of strength.
During my phase of moving into acceptance, I had a handful of clients that had been through what I’ve been through and some of them much more. There are a few clients that really stand out in my mind, that I’ll never forget. I met one couple that had endured having over 15 miscarriages, and after 9 years they were blessed with a sustainable pregnancy! I often still think of that couple. However the next story was incredible! My encounter with this couple was such a special blessing .
It was around March 2014, I worked with a client that had unfortunately suffered a miscarriage. It was an emotional visit, but we got through it. Although she was hurting, she kept her composure and she said “I’ll be alright…these things sometimes happen for a reason.” During the visit, I poured words of healing, peace, and encouragment into her. Little did I know her family would return the favor a few short months later.
It was around June or July (2014) and I saw the same woman’s name on my schedule. I assumed she was pregnant again, but much to my surprise she walked in with a beautiful baby boy! I was speechless and very confused. I asked her if she was the same woman I had met just a few months before. She smiled and shook her head yes. She explained that the doctors thought she had miscarried but she hadn’t. The baby was premature, but thriving very well! I was so overwhelmed with joy that I started tearing up. That day my client was there with her husband. He was very quiet as his wife and I spoke. As we were wrapping up he said, “I don’t talk very much because I’m listening…I’m listening to God.” He then asked, “Do you believe in God?” I said, “yes…I do.” What he said to me next was unbelievable. He said, “God told me that there is something that you cry about at night, and that if you’ll just fully surrender it will be alright.” At this point, I lose it and I completly break down. I told them about what was going on with my health and about trying to conceive. He reassured me that it was already done. After that day, I didn’t see that couple anymore.
Fast forward to around July (2015), I was 7 months pregnant and I see my client’s husband as he was about to leave the office (where I work). When he saw me, I rubbed my tummy and he smiled and gave me the thumbs up! I told him to give his wife my love and he left. I’ll never forget them and the gift they gave me.
I shared this story to have you ponder the perspective of finding strength in the testimonies of others. When you’re living with a chronic illness, you may unintentionally find yourself depressed and falling into the trap of coveting someone else’s blessing. Our journey is our journey in this life for a reason. Now I’m human, and there were times I felt sad after hearing pregnancy announcements. I was sad for myself, but genuinely happy for others. Over time, I was able to quickly move on from that sadness. I began to use the breakthroughs of others as a source of hope and promise for my own pending blessings!
Remember, we’re all going through something. You may see someone when they’re doing well, but you never know what they have endured to get where they are. Be encouraged today, and know that you’re not alone.